A Horrified Mother is the Best Barometer for A Creative Life.
In the last few weeks and blog posts, I've been exploring how to bring joy back into my artistic practice after allowing the need to sell my art to kill my creative vibe.
I'm excited to declare from the top of a tall building, hands on hips, cape billowing out behind me -
I've found a path forward, AND my mother is horrified.
Two birds, one stone.
#winning
Photo by Esteban López on Unsplash
While this may sound counterintuitive, it's such a good thing.
My mother (who is in town this week) likes things neat and tidy, her art included. She wants it technically perfect as well as beautiful.
That's not my jam, I love big, sloppy, colorful, and wild paintings, but I've subconsciously been attempting to adhere to this level of mom-induced perfectionism.
Mother Trucker in red
How horrified my mom is is the best barometer for knowing when I'm onto something good.
Especially my art!
When she looks at a painting and says,
"Oh… That's interesting…" while clutching her pearls.
It means she doesn't like it, which is good because it's so far from perfect that she can't muster up any advice on how to make it perfect, and I'm not here for perfect.
My new path forward to instill joy and excitement back into my painting was thus:
If I destroy a painting and remove any option for perfectionism before I've even start, I can win this game.
How does one do this? You might ask.
For watercolor, I’ve dripped and smeared ink onto the blank paper ergo ruining it, then starting my painting.
For encaustic, I found that scribbling on the surface of a painting that is done but not great with oil pastels or oil paint sticks is a fantastic way to wake my brain up to new possibilities.
I bears mentioning that I did not come up with this all on my own. I have a lovely community of artists here in Newport that I’ve been bouncing ideas off of and stealing techniques from. Khara Ledonne, was the one who turned me onto scribbling with oil pastel to break things up.
A little rage scribbling never hurt anyone.
BUT WAIT, There’s MORE!
(I know, I couldn’t believe it either)
For YEARS now, I thought I wanted to paint looser.
The general advice is to use bigger brushes, stand further away from your canvas, work fast, and do two double backflips with a triple-lutz combo mid-brush stroke.
But I have realized I didn't want to paint loose - I wanted to paint with William Wallace style FREEDOOOOOOM!
I wanted to make good art while simultaneously being free from constraints, perfectionism, self-judgment, and the mom judgment that lives rent-free in my head.
So where is the mid-point between a ruined scrawling mess and a beautiful painting in this kilt-wearing battle cry?
I'm not 100% sure, but now that I know what I'm striving for I know I will find other artists and art that have stuck this lovely balance. And in this moment I don't care that much because I'm so excited to have uncovered this level of freedom in my art.
For example, I left one panel mostly untouched in the massive King Tide triptych. Then, I got progressively more unhinged as I reworked them. But the one that is the most unhinged is by far my favorite.
Reworked King Tide Triptych
Before reworking. I was never happy with these, I didn’t know why, and part of me secretly wished they would accidentally melt, so I wouldn’t have to face what felt like a monumental failure.
But now I can see they were lifeless.
The first panel and the one that was least re-worked.
Second panel with more color in the clouds, the foam and on the rocks.
Fully unhinged! So much color in the clouds, the water, the foam - it’s gone so WILD it may as well be on spring break in Florida!
Detail of panel 3 and possibly my favorite part of the entire painting.
In this cloudscape watercolor, I used a lot of gouaches (opaque watercolor) to cover some of the ink drips because I wanted a cohesive image while leaving some ink showing through to declare,
"I look good, but I'm a little bit unhinged,"
And as I type this, I realize I want my battle cry for the rest of time to be, "I look good, but I'm a little bit unhinged,"
What is your battle cry personally or in art?
And has your mother ever approved of a new hairstyle?
Let’s discuss.