Salutations, Shit has Gone Sideways.
A Plane, A Train, Two Rental Cars, A Lost Dog, an ER Visit or Two, A Delay, the Resurrection of a Scheme, An Airport, An Artist,
and an Old Friend
To tell the full story of the last seven days would require a 700-page novel with small type and long chapters.
Since we don’t have that kind of time, I shall do my utmost to surmise how my most anticipated trip of the year was delayed in the most preposterous ways.
My most anticipated trip of the year - a private lesson with an encaustic artist I’ve long admired, and was willing to fly all the way to the other Portland to take.
Portland / Portsmouth same same.
(Don’t tell anyone from NH I said that)
I will visit Portland, Main, even though my class will be in Portsmouth, NH.
And while I am here in NH now and everything did work out better than fine, the story is worth re-telling only because, in my wildest dreams, I could not make this shit up.
Where to even begin?
Let’s start with:
ER visit #1:
My mom is a motherfuckin’ trooper!!
That’s all you really need to know about this visit.
Mom had a wee little spill, so we took her to the ER just in case and to get her cleaned up.
While in the ER, Mother Trucker was the star attraction, with all the jokes and inappropriate comments. If you’ve never seen a 20-year-old male nurse blush, you owe it to yourself to go to the ER with Mother Trucker.
ER Visit #2:
I think she just liked the pudding, but back we went.
Everything is fine now. I promise.
As long as those fuckers keep supplying the pudding.
Road Trip to Portland, OR:
It was well past time for Mother Trucker to go home, and it was time for me to fly to NH to meet a wonderful friend whom I had not seen in a dog’s age and for the fun to begin!
Haha, Roxy says NOPE!
Canceled Flight &
Rental Car BACK to NP to find Roxy:
I’m not crying; you’re crying.
I left Roxy with a trusted neighbor, but there was a vicious thunderstorm/hail storm.
The world was clearly ending, and without me there to do the mama thunderstorm dance, Roxy had a big fright and did a runner.
They gave me COFFEE:
I ordered tea. They gave me coffee. I had already driven away.
There was nothing to do but suffer through it.
#selfcarefail
WE FOUND ROXY:
The ENTIRE neighborhood was searching. She was gone for 12 of the longest hours of my life, but now she has a GPS-enabled collar, and I can find her from anywhere in the world.
#themaniswatching
She was tired and hungry, but otherwise fine.
And a little clingy for a few days, but so was I!
A Scheme is Resurrected:
Many internet searches and visits to mileage plans later, tickets were rebooked, plans were re-planned, and after only one flight delay, I made it to the East Coast!
I slept for 12 hours:
I can’t imagine why?!
This is also a new world record for me.
I might also have a stomach ulcer. Again, I'm not sure why.
We had the best DAY:
Fun shops in Portsmouth, hours of conversations, hiking on the beach, painting on the beach, the yummiest food!
Although I have not had my lesson yet, I will be sure to post updates about the rest of the lovely, albeit short, trip and my private encaustic lesson as soon as possible!