Confidence, Courage, and the Fortitude to not Barf Everywhere
My first Live Illustration Event!!
Remember when I said I was in love with Live Illustration and was searching for some portfolio-building events to attend?
Well, I spent exactly two weeks in my new home state of Colorado before getting on an airplane and coming right back to the Oregon Coast for said activities and events!!
Wooo doggie, let me tell you about learning curves!!
Some days, you have the luxury of taking your time while learning something new.
Just fifteen minutes a day with a deranged lime green owl who thinks a jump-scare will cement your vocabulary lesson with just a dab of PTSD.
(Duolingo for those unindoctrinated by The Owl)
Other days, like my first attempt at Live Illustration last week, there is no choice but to jump into the middle of the fire - feet first, paint brushes flailing, paint water sloshing, wearing a glass of champagne down your front like a soggy bottomed toad high on crystal meth.
At least that’s what it felt like on the inside. On the outside, I looked like this…
The Professional.
On the outside - Calm, cool, and collected.
On the inside - Don’t throw up. Don’t throw up. Don’t throw up!
Things I learned straight out of the gate!
Open bottles of ink and white linen table cloths - nope.
All paper needs to be in a waterproof sleeve/container/protective pouch.
Bring my own light source, asking waiters to string lamps about may or may not result in wearing a glass or two of champagne at some point in the evening.
(See also item 2)Have a place for the introverts to sit.
Have art supplies on hand for the introverts to play with.
Practicing at home, alone, in my pajamas with a snoring dog and soft music in the background, is oddly not at all the same as sitting in a new place, wearing out-of-the-house clothes, with different lighting, no dog, and interacting with strangers.
No matter how much I had practiced and fine-tuned my process, in the moment, I felt so wildly out of my depth. I genuinely questioned whether I had ever drawn anything before in my life.
But really, how could I have felt any different?
It was all 100% new.
Random Lamp - I love lamp!
Things I learned once it was all said and done.
I’m still super extra in love with Live Illustration. I met many new and interesting people. I got to talk about art. I had a conversation with an honest-to-goodness balarina!
Like, that was her job - Balarina.The thrill and adrenaline of drawing in public, checks that “terrified, while having fun” box. It’s scary movies, haunted houses, and jumping out of airplanes, fun.
I need a new way to practice, because pjs and gentle doggie snarfles are not going to cut it.
Finding a Way to Practice
Finding a way to practice was my most immediate need once this event was done. I have another event next week.
I had to do better, and I wasn’t going to get better at home, where there are forty thousand snacks on tap; it’s quiet, cozy, and set to my ideal temperature.
My first thought was to practice standing on one foot, with pots and pans strapped to my head, wearing too-tight pants, while listening to really loud, terrible techno thump music.
Valencia, my friend who doesn’t go for dramatics, suggested going to the Starbucks in Fred Meyer to draw/paint in public.
In response, I said, “Ew, that place is a total shit show!”
I’ll give you a moment to imagine the deadpan look she gave me.
“Oh, right,”
Quite frankly, painting with pans on my head and blasting techno music would 10/10 be more comfortable than venturing into public with my paintbrush.
But.
I put on my biggest, big girl pants and, with my guts trembling, I went into Fred Meyer.
I set up my paints and some paper, and I asked the barista if I could take her photo as I was practicing Live Illustration.
What am I doing with my life??!!! This is terrible!
“Before I go further in this tale, let me tell you how much shit a Fred Meyer/SBUX barista sees in a day. I only sat there for 3 hours, painting and nursing my drink, and the amount of fuckery I saw was wild, y’all!
These ladies are the front line for the daily shit show that is the general public.”
So, I asked this young person if I could take her photo, and she couldn’t even be bothered to react; she was just like Sure, whatever.
Although I’m pretty sure that if I didn’t look like a librarian, she would have told me to fuck all the way off.
Then I sat down and started to paint - guts still fully trembling.
I gave her the painting, asked the next barista if I could take her photo, and then painted her.
By this time, my guts had calmed down, and when I was done with a third portrait, I was having fun, and the third portrait had become highly anticipated by all three baristas!
Yay!!
The next day, I went to Ultralife in Nye Beach with my guts fully rumbling.
I’m sure the day will come when the act of painting strangers in public doesn’t scare the absolute pee out of me, but let’s be real. I’m never jumping from an airplane or setting foot into a haunted house, so until then I’ll take this little fizz of daring excitement!!
What is the most benign thing you’ve had to wear your big kid pants for recently? Please do share!!