There is a sound bite with a song "trending" online. Someone is singing to an artist various versions of "Wow, what you do is magic. I could never do that" repeatedly, and the artist repeatedly responds, "It's practice."
The singer does not believe that it is only practice, that cannot be!  

For an inexperienced artist or non-artist, it's easy to assume tools and inherited talent make the artist, but I promise it is practice. I've spent too much time arguing with strangers online that anyone can be an artist if they work on their skill set. Still, people believe that artists are born with magical ingredients pre-loaded. To be fair, I grew up in a creative household, so the idea that I could paint and draw past the age of six was open to me, and I do recognize that for the privilege it is. 

The above is to say practice and experimentation are vital to making art. I have been painting with encaustic wax paint for more than three years. When I started with the medium, I had no prior experience painting with encaustic and no one to teach me. I truly believed that I would melt the wax then paint with it like oil paint. It was very rude to learn that it does NOT work that way. There was a lot of disappointment in that discovery because I couldn't make the images I wanted to make. This was true because I didn't have the skills yet. 

This first year of working with encaustic was a challenging one. I had to battle my fear, disappointment, and slight nausea each time I thought about going into my studio. Knowing I could not make what I wanted to make and knowing that I probably would not like what I created. But not going into the studio was not an option. I had wanted to paint with encaustic paint for more than 20 years. I was not about to give up on it. So I fought my inner critics and voices. 

The first memorable turning point was upgrading from a heat gun for embossing to a propane torch to better control my materials. The tools did matter a little bit, but not as much as the practice part. I would have never looked for a better solution without trial and error. It was another six months before I realized the heat gun and propane torches that I used were the "actual" paintbrush, and the brushes were nothing more than a delivery system from paint to board - chips and dip, if you will. Once I gave up trying to force the paintbrushes to work as I expected them to work, things started to go much better. I had some control over my materials. 

It took another six months (or longer if I am being excruciatingly honest with myself) to learn the importance of carving into the wax and adding texture. It was another embarrassing long period before I started adding a layer of oil paint to my paintings' ridges and texture to help create depth and enhance the texture. 

The above are all major turning points in my art process, and recently I've made yet another discovery, and BAM! After three years and some change, I am making the images I initially imagined. Yes, you read that correctly, THREE YEARS of patience, practice, nausea, and other mild sufferings for my art. 

The turning points are getting smaller and smaller, which is a good thing. I am honing in on where I want to be. The most recent discovery was my use of oil paint. I can be deliberate with it. I know that sounds silly, but hear me out. When I made the oil paint discovery, I added it to the entire painting because I felt I should be doing - that's what I saw other artists doing via the Gram of Insta. But it's not what I wanted for my work. 

In summary, I believe "talent" is a myth, it is practice, but it's also trust. Trust in oneself to find the information and then bend it to one's process. Trust to know when the rules were made to be broken.

The photos above are the images from each pivotal turning point in my process. Each picture holds so much excitement for a new skill learned. 

And the final photos - these hold much joy. I will be releasing a Mother's Day collection in mid April to celebrate my ability to paint flowers and gardens and maybe even a few butterflies. We shall see.